Monday, September 20, 2010

A Naïve passenger for the poetry bus...

I am Monstrously late for the bus this week. Argent is driving the bus here for DFTP...DFTP asks us to write about non-denominational wedding, but at the same time insists not to be slushy,tacky,cheesy or mention any religion or God.Writing about a wedding and not to be slushy is tough, but when has been a poetry bus ride easy. I have no personal experience of this, so I am running late for the bus. This poem is written in a hurry to catch the bus. I am writing this based on my observation. I've been observing the most lovely couple i know- my parents for now 24 years and this is just a jist of it.

My not-so fair life...
26 years to search you
Just a lifetime to hold you

Only a minute to kiss at I Do
A pout to say Will do

A smile to submit to you
An innocent lie to say no cue

A hug to coax me for work
An embrace to impede me leaving for work

A nudge to say speak up
A sideway glance to say shut up

A sigh to convince me
A raised eyebrow to question me

A punch to tell the truth
A peck to lie for you

A glance to make me forget everything
A wink to pull at my heart

You are a pill for a miracle life
A jewel for a lovely wife!
P.S.: I have no clue how the other passengers managed to pull through this, but they did it smoothly.

18 comments:

Gwei Mui said...

This is a real pick-me-up peom. Ithink everyone should some poetry first thing in the morning.

I think the the format your chose is so perfect for the subject matter rhyming coupletts.

This is a wonderful push-me-pull me tale of the good, the not so good but the overall love of a partnership

Just brilliant

Argent said...

Wha neat, well-observed, piece. As Gwei says, a real pick-me-up.

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Gwei :)Thank you so much.Now I m gonna have wonderful morning.

@Argent Thank you.That's so thoughtful of you to help DFTP.I am glad you stopped the bus for this passenger:)

....Petty Witter said...

Congratulations on a job well done, I love this verse which makes such a nice change from all those over sentimental poems we often hear at weddings.

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Tracy (Petty Witter) Thank you:)I tried to make it as warm as possible and this verse came out :)

Helen said...

So full of energy and optimism ... loved it!

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Helen Thank you for the kind comments :)

Peter Goulding said...

Ah, its the bride's prerogative to be late for the wedding!
Lovely piece and looks well on the page too.

Titus said...

I really like this, and it is a very fine observation of the non-verbals that pass between couples who've been together a long time. Recognised myself in a few parts.

And love to those who inspired this - lucky you to have them!

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Peter :D haha...Thank you so much

@Titus Thank you. I sure am lucky to have them.I will convey your regards to them :)
Cheers to you:)

RicochetRabbit said...

nice.....short sweet and coherent..

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Devarshi Thank you :)

Totalfeckineejit said...

It's different, and I like different.I like the push and pull of it.Coolio!

Erratic Thoughts said...

@TFE :D Thank you!

Aniket said...

This felt so Frank Sinatraish ;) And I so mean it as a compliment. One of these days, I'll find time to get on the bus. I so want to. After all, there are so many wonderful people on it.

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Aniket Thanq :) You are most welcome to the bus!

Amrapali said...

jabardast lihites ga.. :)

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Amrapali :) Thank you so much...