Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Hidden secrets

This one is for Magpie Tales. Have a look at the amazing takes on this prompt from fellow bloggers.





Image by Skip Hunt
as shared at
Magpie Tales



It was getting quite dark outside; she couldn’t see clearly through the mess.
She reached out for the last box and gave up. It was too dark to make out its contents.
With a grunt she stood up and searched for the switch.

It had to be somewhere around here.

Cursing a little, she started feeling her way through the clutter in her basement. Finally her hand hit the switch and light poured in the damp and dirty basement.

That’s when she saw the discarded rusty fan lying in the far corner of the room, on the floor. Along with the rust she saw the fan tinted with lot of yellow patches.
She went closer to get a better look at it.
Squinting, she picked it up. Scraping the little patch, she tried to smell it.

Hmm.
So this is where her jelly beans and orange gumdrops went. Her missing candies have been coming down here, been devoured by sticky-hands. She was sure the culprits were her 4 year old twins.

Boxes forgotten, she stomped her way up to the nursery.

40 comments:

Sue J said...

Interesting take on the prompt :)

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Sue :)Thank you so much...

kaykuala said...

The little kids! If they could do that without being discovered before, there must be something in them - and it's a double dose of smart alecs!. Great writing!

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Kaykuala oh yeah these little ones get smarter by generation...Thank you for your kind words :)

WINDOWLAD said...

..kids are getting more unpredictable and silly these days... as you said get smarter by generation... i didn't expect that twist in the end when i began reading some lines in the beginning.. i enjoyed it and the twins..haha..(:

~kelvin

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Kelvin True that...I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
Thank you for dropping by...

Brian Miller said...

ha. sounds like something my little brother would have done back in the day...

Doctor FTSE said...

Great little story (I thought her finding the switch would somehow start the fan!!)

Jinksy said...

Golly gumdrops?! LOL ♥

M. A. S. said...

A little slice of life. I like your take on the prompt.
But I don't think it's the kids...

Tess Kincaid said...

Double trouble!

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Brian yeah it also sounds like me and my sis...we are twins :)

@Doctor FTSE Now that would have been something to see...it would have scared the hell out of me :D

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Penny(Jinksy) Yummy,right?:)

@M.A.S. hmmm,on second thoughts yeah you are right...This doesn't look that simple,isn't it? :D

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Tess yeah...super double trouble!:)

Alka Gurha said...

The power of brevity and mystery....

Nicholas V. said...

Very amusing story and an original take on the prompt!
Thank you for your comment about my poem.

Kay L. Davies said...

What fun.
Or not. I have a 4-year-old grandniece, whom I love all to bits, but there's only one of her. LOL
A good story. I could just imagine her sniffing jelly-bean bits.
— K

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Alka it sure is, thank you for dropping by :)

@Nicholas Glad you liked it,you have a brilliant imagination urself :)

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Kay L. Davies Oh yeah n they are such pure joy to watch,isn't it?

the green breaker said...

I imagined the scenario, and I can't help but think of how the twins did it. Cute!

Erratic Thoughts said...

@the green breaker Thank you :)

Damyanti said...

A cute little story! :)

gsb3 said...

Very imaginative. Jelly beans! What an idea. And a great story, well told. Great job!

gsb3 said...

Very imaginative. Jelly beans! What an idea. And a great story, well told. Great job!

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Damyanti Thank you so much:)

@gsb3 Thank you so much for such encouraging words:)

Nanka said...

Enjoyed the read and I did not guess where it was going till the very end!! Well done!!

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Nanka Thank you :)

Kathe W. said...

twins- twice the fun and maybe twice the work? Fun read!

Other Mary said...

Ah, that's a losing battle to try to hide candy from 4-year-olds. Interesting slant on the prompt. Thanks for visiting my blog too!

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Kathe W. Thank you so much :)

@Other Mary Thank you for dropping by, glad I visited your blog, you have alovely blog :)

waysidewordgarden said...

Love the ending, I did not see that coming. Twice the candy with twins! :) Enjoyed it.

li said...

Unique twist! I was waiting to be scared...but got a nice chuckle at the end.

Erratic Thoughts said...

@waysidewordgarden Glad you enjoyed it, Thank you for dropping by:)

@li haha...just tried not to be scary this time...Thank you for dropping by...

Amanda said...

LOL: It's just as bad when they are 10. My son is really good at sniffing out all my hiding places.

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Amanda :D Its sometimes scary how their minds work...

Penthe said...

Great take on the picture. I can see how Nicholas' and yours share some elements, but certainly both are original and satisfying!

Lydia said...

What a "sweet" take on this prompt. Twins with loose candy just has to be a dangerous combination!

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Penthe Thank you for your kind words

@Lydia :) True that...That's a dangerous combination :)

Nisha said...

Just gone thru some of your posts. Do you always write this beautiful? :)

Very cute story. Keep it up.

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Nisha
Thank you so much for dropping by,you made my day:)