Monday, July 26, 2010

Some comical moments- for a ticket to poetry bus

Niamh B is the poetry bus driver this week. She tells us to write something on confusion see here...
Ohh she has written one beautiful poem herself...
This is my entry for buying a ticket. This has really happened, so it's no invention.As I think about it now, I can't stop laughing. Good god! For the life of me, when you are sleepy, go and sleep instead of doing such antic things at night.

Confusion was writ large
as I saw an admiral’s barge
that seemed like a sergeant’s targe.
‘twas some work of art
with a spray of mossy colors
melting into that one street light
on a full moon night.
As I looked on thinking
bewilderment pasted on my face
little portrait budged.
My heart took a sudden leap
cause it was a man asleep
on a wooden wheel cart
abut a painted wall
beneath a tree tall.
Scurrying into my room
took a deep long breath
burst into a roaring chortle
on my murky vision
or on my sleepy conclusion.

31 comments:

jinksy said...

A different kind of moving picture, eh?

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Jinksy...lol,yeah :D

Argent said...

Hahaha! My eyesight is rubbish and I'm ALWAYS mis-interpreting what I see - not to such amusing effect theough. I once got into a stranger's car and began to berate the driver, thinking it was my tardy other half. O! the gaiety!

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Argent is it?That must have been some experience...haha

Gwei Mui said...

ROFL I've got terrible eyesight too! I once ignored a blur that was waving at me from across the street (it was my father!)
Great piece really enjoyed it espcaily the closing lines
"Scurrying into my room
took a deep long breath
burst into a roaring chortle
on my murky vision
or on my sleepy conclusion. "

Erratic Thoughts said...

@GM Thanks a lot!:)
Ohh I have done such things as well n my dad gave good bashing afterwards(not literally) :D

Derrick said...

Thanks for visiting. I'm sure that we all suffer from mistaken vision from time to time!

The Weaver of Grass said...

Love the poem - very clever. I chickened out this week for the first time - too confusing a subject for my tidy mind.

Niamh B said...

This is cool, and you taught me a new word Targe, for which I'll be eternally grateful...
excellent

Lydia said...

Was the sleeping man large
who looked like a barge?
Or was he a dreamer tiny
floating on the sea briny?
And when you got to your top stair
Did you turn to find him not there?
He is there now on a regular basis
In the form of your lol poem oasis!

Titus said...

Really interesting take on confusion - that misapprehension of reality. I'm always seeing animals that turn out to be a piece of wood or something.
Funny too, and the rhymes worked well. Liked it!

Sarah said...

I really like the result of your confusion! As I read your poem for a second time, I really pictures bot interpretations of what you saw. It is great how our brains search for meaning in what they see, even if they get it completely wrong!
Thank you for your visit!

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Derrick anytime, I love reading, so I will keep visiting.
Imagination runs wild when one is sleepy..:)

@The Weaver of Grass Thank you.I gave it a feable try, it sure was a tough one.Niamh are you listening! :D

@Niamh Thank you n my pleasure.I personally am learning a lot here. You guys are excellent poets!

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Lydia Some unanswered questions there which my hazy memory/vision/understanding could not comprehend but you caught them rightly. Thank you :)
hmm let me scratch my head some...
he must have been a hefty big guy bcoz i sadly mistook him for a barge(gosh!) n when on the top stair, I did not look back at all, I was still experiencing some wierd kind of shock!

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Titus Thank you so much!
Lol :D

@Sarah Thank you for dropping by...
Yes, it kind of scares the hell out of you sometimes n for no good reason :D

Dave King said...

A tasty morsel that, to chew on the bus. Brilliant, in fact.

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Dave Thank you so much :)

Imola said...

What say I? Dreaming seems to be fruitful to you! I only dream telling jokes :)) and always forget them by the time I am awake...

So, keep on dreaming! :)

Enchanted Oak said...

Oh, you remind me of childhood's terrifying visions, in which a heap of something becomes in the night some object of horror. What a relief to hear your laughter in the end.

Jeanne Iris said...

Nice one, E.T. A thought occurred to me as I read this. I wondered if you were the perceiver or the perceived. Either way, it makes for a great poem on confusion.

Helen said...

Loved the whimsy in this ... great riding with you!

Domestic Oub said...

Enjoyed it :) Am always sleepily confused - which is usually followed by fully awake mortification :)

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Imola Thanks for dropping by.I generally don't remember them, but this one was hilarious n it keeps coming back!

@Enchanted Oak I remeber those nightmares, yikes they still scare me :D

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Jeanne Thank you, think I was the perciever!

@Helen Thank you, you are an interesting fellow passenger too :)

@Domestic Oub Thank you so much,I so understand what you feel! :D

Peter Goulding said...

I wondered what was so amusing about me getting up off a cart! Delightful piece.

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Peter G Hahaha!I didn't realize it was you, you managed to scare the wits out of me then... :D

RicochetRabbit said...

nice....I remember a similar incident which cost me good.
I was running....already late to catch my office cab...I had things dangling out of my pocket- mobile, spects, i-pod, id-card etc...some of which happened to drop on the way...now my spects are rim-less with whatever non-glassy part in black color exactly the same as road...I searched everywhere for it...but in vain....n den giving up after a while, I heard a 'crack' beneath my foot....and I said...finally!! got em!

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Devarshi Ouch!Sorry abt ur glasses...that was pretty bad.
I really hope you din loose nything else.I practically do a marathon from my place to the office bus stop everyday, I can so realte to you.
Gosh, m a real mess at times in the mornings!
Hope you managed well without the glasses for a while.That was one funny incident!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Haha! Confusion reigns and rules in this little poem!

Crafty Green Poet said...

oh such confusion in visual misinterpretation, excellent

Erratic Thoughts said...

@TFE God!It was one memorable incident...

@Crafty Green Poet Thank You so much for dropping by...:)