Sunday, August 8, 2010

Catching the bus...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Jeanne!!!

Jeanne Iris the birthday girl is driving the poetry bus this time on a very short notice.She has given us three options for this week. One is flash Fiction on Mid-summer memories and I am trying my hands on that...(This person is Somebody's Somebody...It was narrated to me one summer) Tough one but very inspirational.Some summers are not that playful, I realized it that day.

*********

Chase...

For the past one hour he was on the run, well aware that he had crossed the line.
But this is needed, he assured himself.

They had just won the peak ZZ2 and he had been instructed to distract the militia.
Hungry Alsatians snarling and yapping behind him; men following them.
He was running out of his breath keeping this charade.

Oh shut up you idiots! You are making me nervous. He silently cursed those barking dogs.
Which way next Jeff? Where next? There is a ravine about 2kms from here and this way I will have to scuttle more and I might end up dead early. No use; can’t go this way; I have to take the ravine.

He started sliding downstream, towards the ravine.
Yes this is the right one. This will take longer time for search.
Ha! Longer time, it’ll take an entire night.


He edged nearer to the ravine.
Now what?Jump down just like that?Nah…
He turned around and back again. You won’t have me that easily.

There was a tree at the edge of the ravine, with a foot’s distance between them. He ducked behind it and wrapped a big boulder with his blood smeared jacket and sent it rolling down the other side into the ravine.
Ha, gotcha…Now keep tracking me you hounds…

The Alsatians got confused. They could smell him in the ravine and along the edge upto the tree.
For a split second he leaned on the tree behind him, rested his head, closed his eyes and caught-up with his breath. He heard a rustling noise from the nearby bush. His alert mind missed a beat. It was a hare, but a terrified one. They stared at each other. He realized and looked down; he was standing on a rabbit hole. He stared back at the hare. What a melancholy? Both of them could not move. He wanted to buy time and the hare could have been a meal to those frustrated Berger Allemands. But at least one could survive.

One wrong move and it would all end. He moved his foot forward…
Furthermore…
...
Now on the edge…
...
Little more…
...
A second passed…
...
And he slipped…
...
Into black awareness…
Into Time…
Under the epitaph in front of me…


As I looked on, I saw a hare climbing the grave stone. Clutched in his mouth was a daffodil still dripped in the morning dew. He placed it besides my fresh roses and nuzzled it.

We looked at each other and connected on an unknown level…
He bequeathed his life and love to us. We are in his debt for life.


“ What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.”
~Pericles

14 comments:

jason evans said...

I felt my fingers curling to hold on!

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Jason same here...same here

Argent said...

Wow! What a story and so engagingly told.

Gwei Mui said...

I too desperatly trying to cling on!
"Into black awareness…
Into Time…
Under the epitaph in front of me…"
Great read, literally took my breath away

Dave King said...

Seems like we were all hanging on - brilliantly told.

Derrick said...

A dramatic tale and a poignant ending, nicely told.

Raj said...

hey thank you so much for reading!

i will get back to reading you i promise. for now i am totally up to my molars in the water :(

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Argent Thanks..:D

@GM That was my intention..:)

@Dave Thank you so much...

@Derrick Thanks for dropping by and your kind comments :)

@Raj Anytime...This place is open for Avid readers n amazing writers:)

@All...
I don't know whether this was a real incident, but I was a kid that time and kids believe anything and everything dramatically told. i never knew it will turn out this way when I wrote it (with some of my additions)
Thank you all :)

Lydia said...

But at least one could survive is one of the most poignant lines I've read, and just aches to be finished with the explanation that you gave. This really touched me and I thank you for a special story told beautifully.

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Lydia I am smiling and enjoying this...You have made my day! Thank you so much :)

Mona said...

Happy Birthday to Jeanne!

That is a good flash fiction!Very well written! I like the Pericles quotation in the end!

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Mona Thank you for dropping by, I m sure Jeanne would be smiling!

Thank you for your kind comments:)

Raj said...

this was too freaking good. loved it!
absolutely.
a fine read on a dull sunday :)

Erratic Thoughts said...

@Raj Thank you...That was nice to hear on a dull sunday!Seriously there was something dull about the day, but now I feel great :)
Thank you!